Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
