And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
