we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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