i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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