The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
