The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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