Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
