**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
