Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
