Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
