we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
He has the fingertips of a God
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