the new term for farting is butt boxing.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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