I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
