The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
There r osticjed everywhere
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
