i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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