My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
