This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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