Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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