Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
