my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
