I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Randomize
