i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
