Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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