I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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