Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
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I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
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I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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