what if every blade of grass was a penis?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
