My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I currently don't understand fingers.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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