Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I'm both gender and math confused
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
