There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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