I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
