yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
