shes about as inviting as chlamydia
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
