I think i peed on brittanys purse
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize