I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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