Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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