I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
