you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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