Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
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so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
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You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...