I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
