I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa