Texts From Last Night

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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."

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  (918): Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now. (918): He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced." http://tfl.nu/be28
  Replies (15) Good night (2366) Bad night (896)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone

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  (574): i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone http://tfl.nu/gkfm
  Replies (12) Good night (1608) Bad night (4311)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?

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  (902): is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with? http://tfl.nu/yzo8
  Replies (56) Good night (1137) Bad night (5921)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?

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  (917): will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight? http://tfl.nu/ex8f
  Replies (3) Good night (1234) Bad night (596)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake

  (1-561): View more from Florida

  Who the fuck is this

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  (561): Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake (1-561): Who the fuck is this http://tfl.nu/nqou
  Replies (13) Good night (4798) Bad night (907)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?

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  (361): Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive? http://tfl.nu/y06z
  Replies (5) Good night (1850) Bad night (853)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"

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  (865): Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris" http://tfl.nu/5ny6
  Replies (6) Good night (2278) Bad night (553)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one

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  (847): Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one http://tfl.nu/3ht8
  Replies (13) Good night (493) Bad night (1845)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.

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  (479): My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman. http://tfl.nu/mmis
  Replies (5) Good night (1733) Bad night (428)
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  (408): View more from California

  I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.

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  (408): I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident. http://tfl.nu/gd86
  Replies (6) Good night (2139) Bad night (668)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "

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  (252): Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison " http://tfl.nu/v70i
  Replies (5) Good night (515) Bad night (987)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh

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  (804): I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh http://tfl.nu/vuef
  Replies (0) Good night (494) Bad night (298)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment

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  (931): I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment http://tfl.nu/k0uz
  Replies (2) Good night (909) Bad night (385)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  ITS ORAL SEX CAROL

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  (651): My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means (651): ITS ORAL SEX CAROL http://tfl.nu/ccj7
  Replies (7) Good night (1430) Bad night (429)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.

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  (+44): He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up. http://tfl.nu/t0cr
  Replies (1) Good night (1730) Bad night (325)

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