dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours