He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
