sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
