I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
