mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize