laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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