I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
