I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
