Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
