Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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