the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
