I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
