At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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