Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I haven't been this sober since birth.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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