thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
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I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
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At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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