direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
