I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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