1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
