the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize