Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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