I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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