my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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