There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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