I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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