Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
